Well it's me again, i shuld be at Kristen's sleepover. i really wanted to go but my Anxiety caught up with me, and I didn't wanna freak out at her house so I decided not to go. I still plan on getting her something tho. I swear it's like I hate being around people, Yet I want to be around people. I am so totally confused rite now. Scott is down till like Monday, so i'm on my own. He's like my only contact with people anymore. Like In School i'm real quiet when around my friends. I have no energy. I just do my work, read and wait till the day ends. I so badly miss being out going. And I'm starting to be harder on myself. Like when one of my friends mention something that sounds new to me, I sit and think. How fucking stupid am I, I should have known that, what a dumbass. I hate all these new feelings, I scare myself too much...... Maybe I'm not meant to live past 18. I can't do anything rite. I don't have any talent. I have no purpose except to suffer..... alright, I'm just plain out depressed guess I'll find something to do. Peace