wellz.....its been a ....ugh.... i cant think of the word kinda day at skool 1st hr algebra was gay. Got a c on my hw....ooo and like in the middle of the lecture. I'm sitting there bored out my mind. And got this sudden image in my head of Nick and them damn pens.....And I lost it!!!!!! LOL Teacher was sooooo fucking pissed was great. 2nd hr....German. We fucked around the whole class. Guy in front of me was sayin Penis the whole class.... 3rd hour study hall I worked my ass off doin my Algebra did a half ass job but no way in hell was i takin that book home 4th hr History was gay....The teacher beat the fuck out of this stand thing with a baseball bat.....it was ummmm odd 5th hr Health was different. I sit by Adam and Richard and liek I was late cuz I needed to ditch my world History and algebra book cuz they're so heavy and my locker is clear across the skool. Teacher bitched me out. Alright keep in mind I am the onli girl in a class of 17. So like we had Bus safety test today and like we jumped out and a dude was standin there to help us out and I just jumped no help needed and the dude was like "Dis gurl be pimpin. She ain't a pussy like the rest of you" made me feel good....lol...So afterwards we sat in the gym and these two dudes were sittin behind me and I was beatin the shit out of Adam cuz he said my make up looked like Alice Cooper.....And the dude behind me was like "You a junior or Senior" I turn around..... "Hun I wish" he couldn't believe I was a Freshman. He's kool tho. I was fuckin with Adam sayin you cannot offend a Bisexual the dude got into the convo and was like You're bi? I'm like yeah.....And Proud. And he's like....Fucking awesome. i'm like ugh okay....lol 6th was gay. English teacher kept glaring at me....So I gave him the finger and he gave me a nasty look.....Cocksucker. I hate that guy!!!!!!!!!! 7th we had a sub that literatly coulda passed for a cross between the Monoply dude and a dick....And he wouldn't talk so we were all loud....so now I have fuckin 40pgs of Bio practically..... Over all today sucked. Been depressed. Probably Ephedra withdrawls cuz like I onli took one instead of 2 this morning and been sick all day. Cold and hot flashes. Probably running a fever. Suicidal thoughts are still lurking in the back......Still at my low.....Just can't stop thinkin about it all........... Life's a real bitch Oh and this morning..... i was like 3ft away from the train goin by......Thought about getting a little closer.....felt sooooooo good. Watched the wheels hit the track..... Oh and then today Bob is like....You busy Saturday? I'm like maybe....Bastard chickened out last time I ain't waitin my time on him. He's like you got first dibs....That pissed me off even more. I'm like I'm on slut leave...pick another gurly. And he's like No I want you. I'm like why. And he's like cuz you suck my cock the best........ ASSHOLE!!!!! Am not in the fucking mood to be harrassed.....I was like whats the youngest you've been with....And he's like I gotta go....Fuckin Child Molestor. Can slowly feel myself drifting away. Loosing contact with everything. I wish there was some other way to surpress all this pain or make it go away. Suicide is my last option and I am at the end of my rope. I want to keep fighting....I'm trying but it's to much the Mental Exhaustion is unbelievable.....So much for the fairy tales.......Where's a prince and white horse when ya need one...Left alone to deal with the hell. Some people understand but onli to a point. Other then that I am on my own. Feel like I've been left in the middle of a desert....All alone.....Thousands of miles of sand....And no sign of help....Slowly dying....... RaZoR wHoRe ".....Day after day I'm more confused....I look for the light through the pouring rain...You know that's a game i hate to lose....I'm feelin' the strain........"