Gawd.....I so much fucking hate myself. I've been binging on Chocolate all night....I wanna purge so bad but everyone is up. I dunno why put i feel suicidal. I have such the urge to just take that blade and press it down, I wish i had the courage too....maybe i will... I was in CC2 today and CoM and Angel both IMmed me and told me to change my chat sn, that it was offensive, All it says is "SuicidalScars_Poet" how is that offensive? well maybe it's just me, Sometimes I think I am just doomed to die. I hate feeling this way. I noticed that when i'm out somewhere i think about stepping in front of a bus or a car, just anything to take the pain away. And like now I keep thinking of last summer, of how freaked out I was when Jason was touching me....or about when I was 11, I keep having flash backs and It's to the point where I don't know reality from fiction. It's scarey..... Asking for the courage to press down Wanting to rid myself of the pain The room is quiet, no sound I think I'm going insane Pushing the blade deep A line appears The bloods starts to seep C'mon I pray let this be the end But I don't think it's deep enough Pressing it down again I'm trying to be tough Making one more cut, the Blood starts to run Putting the Blade aside i say to myself,That's it I'm done This is my Suicide That explains how I feel.....damn I can't get over how much I hate myself. That's it I swear I am not eating for a week and will cut everynight. I need to punish myself