Well today was interesting....We had 2 subs for our classes. S.S. and L.A.....for LA we had Mr. Harry Cox. 3rd hour the lights went out and like Aaron and them were screaming Ball sac and god only knows what else. We threw things on the floor n stuff the room looked like a tornado hit it. They made us go to the Gym and sit for like a half hour....Was gay. Lights came back on towards the end of 4th hr. I kno I failed the math test. Was really weird today. I felt like slashing my wrists but yet like i could smile and act fine. Was just really weird. I've had enuff of this BS lately. I'm setting a date.....May 29th If I don't see an improvement in things, I will go get Heavy Marine rope and some barb-wire and go hang at the forest preserve one last time. I can't deal with this depression for the rest of my life. No way. I'll never get help for it. Last time I told my parents that i was depressed they basically blamed it all on me. I didn't ask for this. I hate the mood swings, the lingering Depression. I hate spending my nights holding a knife wondering if I have the balls to make that one deep slash. I hate taking the pills and then get up the next morning sick as a dog and confused. Hanging will now be my preffered method. It just hurts to think about Scott though. I really wanted to chill with him when i'm 18...Go hang at starbucks or something but I don't think its gonna happen. 3more years....dunno if I can hang on that long...I hate not knowing whats going to happen.... Will write more later