wellz normally i'd talk about my Seattle trip....but I'm too depressed.... Mystic, my 3wk old kitty died at Ashley's. Ashley didn't tell me. Aaron had to. and like my dad blamed me that I some how killed it. I'm like WTF! Gah! He accused me off killing Mocha. The babi wild bunnii from this summer too. I must kill things in my sleep? who the fuck knows. Everything is my fault. Oh and then Mary Ann gave my mom a bunch of money for my b-day and like the bitch wont give it to me because its "To much money" and I can't handle it! WTF! Gah I havent been to a mall in ages! The 3 cds I want I can't get. Well "Louder then Bombs" I could order at FYE the store....but "Clear hearts Grey Flowers" and "Sexless Demons and Scars" I have to get off the net. So I'm Fucked. Took an OD tonight......I feel like shit watching South Park the movie. On a lighter note. Nicky sent me a b-day card! When I got home was goin thru all my mail n stuff....and like I spotted the red envelope and Bugsy was in my lap. Nick of course didn't put a return addy heh.....and like I jumped up and bugsy ended up on the floor....lol....It's a cute card. His hand writing amuses me and I'm not sure why. I just think it's the sweetest thing ever. Like when Scott and I were together. I'd send him all kinds of stuff but he alwyz forgot when it was my b-day.......sooo.....lol....Nick is spoilin me! heh.... *enjoys* I missed him by 2hrs today so like....yeah waitin for him. Talked to Allan he helped me thru a hard nite when I was in Seattle. he's mah buddy. He's one of the luckiest ppl i kno. Because he has friends who'll step in the way and talk him out of suicide. My friends at skool dont give a fuck anymore because they aren't suicidal. It was like a phase for them. Now they're happier....and here I am still dealing with the thoughts at night. All my buddies on here are either Pro-choice or Pro-suicide....that helps....LOL....I get some that are like... "do it.....do it.....do it...." heh Nice eh? Anyways...... I'm gonna lay down.... RaZoR wHoRe