I wanna cut....I wanna cut....I wanna Cut... Today in Health I was tiein a noose out of the string on my purse and like adam was like...You should hang yourself today. he's like you need to kill yourself. And like after that....I was numb. I fell asleep in History. Just don't feel good......so depressed.....just feel like letting go. It's so hard to grab onto threads when you're hangin over the edge tryin to get the strength to hold on longer. No Matter how hard i try I just keep feeling myself falling.... It's obvious my parents don't want me around. Onli time they have anythin to do with me is when they want to bitch about something. My mom said if I fail any classes....That my comp is gone. If that happans I'm hanging myself the next day I swear to that. This is my life line to sanity. No one out here understands but my friends on here do. It's coming so close. I just wish I could talk to Nick....Missing him so much. I always look everyday to see if he's on. I got him in a category of his own on my MSN listed under family. Love him so much.....I been listening to "Louder Then Bombs" a lot lately.... I been lookin for some high places around here and so far all I kno of is the gorge but dunno how successful that would be. I wanna die.....but I still wanna Live......I realliii wonder is waiting on the otherside....