Damn stress really gets to ya... yesterday i was going stir crazy. Our phone lines were down all of yesterday and this afternoon. I was freaking out so bad, I was so totally worried about Scott. Was kinda funny. yesterday when I was in the car with my mom, I said something about something that was gay, and she's like is there anything in life that you like besides That nut? I was like no. He may be a nut, But He's my nut. My best bud and Mah nut.... i shall collar his ass one of these days...lol... Man tho But I have under so much stress lately, it's not even funny. I am freaking out with this F in Math. yeah I kno usually I say so what it's just one F. But this will be my First F on my report card...Ever! I dunno but It's my fault that I'm getting that F. I earned it. I'm ashamed of myself. I kno I am better then that. I just get to easily distracted, I guess. I dunno I'm just really confused. Then like yeah now My parents are argueing 24-7. My dad came home drunk today and my mom bitched him out as usual. I never really thought about it before but My dad has basically created a hell that I have ended up exploring more. Here's just a small list of the things he'd done 1. taught me about sex. 2. Touched one of my friends then called me a liar for confronting him 3. Beat the hell out of me 4. Degrades me every chance he gets 5. Humiliates me in front of my friends 6. tells everyone what a whore I am 7. Tells me I'm a worthless slut 8. Lets the entire neigborhood hear our buisness 9. Hates me ................................. List continues 1000. Never showed any Affection at all making me hate any kind of human contact I hate the bastard with a passion but yet I want to give him another chance. I guess I am really fucked up. Maybe me being born was what drove him to drink. Who knows. I'm watching Anhell chew on her cage. I know how she feels. I want out of this cage called Life.....But the damn bars won't break, They Twist and spread but not enough for me to slip through. Damn fucking things.... Life suc cock so fucking bad.....Let me slit my wrists and die.....I'd fucking freak out and stop the bleeding tho...I'm such a worthless slut. My dad is right. I spend all my time blaming my problems on others and stuff. it's all my fault. I asked to be "assualted" I asked to have this "Illness" I cut myself.... I want all this pain. I must or it wouldn't be here. I wouldn't feel it if I didn't want it.... I'm a Worthless Slut. No good to anyone. People lie so fucking bad it's pathetic "You have so much Potential" Bull Fucking shit. You all are just saying that because you don't want to be responsible for my death....This fucking blows....