Thoughts of draggin the blade down one last time are slowly taking over... Just need something sharp enuff to do the job...Lost my surgical blade.... I really thought about it this morning. I was seriously thinkin' about getting up, Finding my Razor blades, And just Dragging them across my wrists till i got the courage to cut an artery.... I wish I weren't such a pussy. I'll do it one of these days...I kno I will...I'll take the cutting to far and that will be it.... Can't wait for that day. Last night Scott joked that maybe we shouldn't talk because the comp has brung my grades down (Really it hasn't I just got Lazier) I don't think something has ever freaked me out that bad...Just the thought of that..... I wouldn't survive the week...No Fucking way...I Love him too much. I need so badly to make a cut...Just to see some blood. I think I will....Fuck this SI free shit....Free country and I will slit my wrists to my heart's content.... I guess I better split..Have HW to attend to