Another long day ahead. Sore as hell from cutting earlier this morning. Just so damn depressed. Seriously I have had it with life. I don't want to be here. I stay for one thing and one thing only: Scott. He always says if I do it he'd follow suite. I couldn't do that to him or his family. Besides the Fact that he will some day make some kind of Break through. Who knows maybe He'll be the next Nobel Prize winner. He has a family that loves him. Parents that care. 2 brothers that are ummmm.....Unique that love him. That Alone is the richest treasure anyone could have: A family that cares. Sadly My family doesn't give a damn. I succeed at something and Nothing is said. I make a mistake and it is forever thrown in my face. I blame enough things on myself. I don't need any more issues. I really just want to take that Nice Shiny Silver blade and press it to an Artery and push down as hard as I can. Just let the blood flow. I am done with this bs. I hate living. I can't even sleep. I get woke up in the middle of the night by Flashbacks and Nightmares. I go through periods where Like it seems as if I could do everything and anything and then other periods where I just want to die. Maybe I'll get HIV or something....Should I get so lucky eh. Please let me die today!