Skool sucked the OD majorly caught up with me. Last two periods thought I was gonna die! Skool is murder and it was soooooooooooooo hot!!!!!!!! Air Conditioning is a privledge not something to take advantage of! I learned that on the first day! That'z about all I learned....lol.... Anyways tho I was writin in my note book..... And started the rough draft of what will eventually be my suicide note..... ********************************************************************************* Ever Thought About what you'd say to the people in your life if you were sentanced to death? I know exactly what'd I say........and Since I'm not hear to say it......then you can read it Nick- My buddy.....best friend and sweetheart. You're the greatest guy ever! You always get me to smile when i don't feel good or it's been a bad day. I Love you.....Maybe I'll see ya at the Bus stop sometime when ya get off..... *Kisses* Allan- Wow.... we've been friends awhile. You've been a great friend. always willing to talk. One of the most unique people I've ever talked to..... Keep Living hun......You have a chance.....Love ya Scott-You little panzy fucker. You broke my heart.......but i still love you Bob- Hun you are one mixed up dude....Thanx for the money tho.......Hope the thought of suicide doesn't freak your happy ass out Mom & Dad-I'm not blaming my actions on you even though I'd like to. I'm acting on my own free will. You wouldn't let me have any control over anything. Calling me a slut and whore.....Like that's suppose to make me feel good? How you don't believe a word I say. Cutting wasn't a phase.....It was leading up to something more. I told you. I showed you. You saw my wrists. Couldn't you see the pain in my eyes? Didn't you wonder why I'd spend nights curled up in my bed crying alone? I guess not because you've never offered help and Told me to shut the hell up and deal with it...... Well I have....Fuck you....You're nothing more to me then a Sperm donnor and Egg carrier..... Katie- Sorry sis.....The world fucking sucks. You'll learn that when you're older. Enjoy being the only child. You have life made for you. You're a pretty Blond haired green eyed girl with a lot going for her. Enjoy what you can of life...... Sara- Sorry chick....You thought you'd go first. Guess Not. Life's a bitch we both know that. Couldn't let things get any further. I didn't see a future...But you kno what that's like........Suicidal Sista's Forever To friends I haven't named: I love you all. I'm sorry things had to end like this. Most of you are aware I had problems that I couldn't deal with And battling a war I knew I couldn't win. Better sooner then later I suppose. You're each in my thoughts.....Will miss you all. Fellow Family Not mentioned before- Cuzins......Aunts....Uncles...... Think everything was alright on my family's side of the track? You thought wrong. My mom is a fucking psychotic bitch. She wanted me to act normal around you all and pretend to be some one I wasn't. I've been suicidal and depressed for 7yrs now and no one has even cared to notice. Shows how invisible i realllii am...... Tho.... To you all. Good Luck in life *********************************************************** I reallii dunno what else to say....Ya kno? I'm sure when the time comes tho I'll have plenty more to say. I feel like I'm packing my bags little by little deciding which route I plan on takin. One of these days............One of these days.......That's what I keep telling myself anyways...... I dunno so confused. Can't decide what I wanna do. I mean I see no future at all whatsoever. Like there isn't one. I'm gonna slit my wrists tonight just to see the blood.... I dunno why just need to see it and reallii badly...... I fuckin' hate life. Why are we born? My fuckin parents stupidity..... PPl practice Safe sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't make the same mistake my parnts did!!!!!!!!!!!! Fucking cocksuckers. They always put me in a bad mood. I cant stand them..........Fuckers......gawd they fucking piss me off............COCK SUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RaZoR wHoRe