Mornin' It's 11:46am and I am half dead.....Was up all night watchin Ervin on cam......lol Well da person who complimented my poem. TY...Writing is my Therapy......Finally gettin' things in the open. Still seems like things are gettin harder and harder. Once Depression has its grip it doesn't let go no matter how hard you pull and push it away. I cut myself again......Cutz aren't as bad as the others but they hurt like a bitch. why do i do it? I don;'t know. The Blood and Pain gives me a rush better then any drug could. Ever get the feeling your drawn to some one? Can't figure out if it's sexually or what But you're just compelled to get to kno them? I'm feelin that way about some one i know right now. He's a nice, friendly sweet guy. And his mind isn't obsessed with sex. I like him but I'm just not sure in what way. Confused. Just take things as they go I guess. Well I'm talkin to Bob about skool and I told him I didn't wanna go cuz we like start Next Wednesday and I am sooooooooo dreading it. And I explained to him why: My Cutting. And He's like do you want to quit? I dunno if I could. So drawn into this addiction and the fact that I don't want any help doesn't make things any easier. He can't seem to understand anything. Pointless to even explain it. He's just interested in the sex. He doesnt care it just eases his conscious to talk about it. But then the convo stops cuz he changes the direction of the conversation. Typical Male..... Wellz.....I'm watchin involved mysteries and my wrists are startin to hurt real bad again.....Guess I'll end this entry for now..... Bleeding Elmos Grl*_*