Wow.....last night i felt so good.....and now I've been curled up in my computer chair crying. I feel so weak.....Just can't go on. I swear i'm failing at everything. I have to drop Algebra....and it's like...I've tried so hard. I just give up. Fuck it. Nick was right some people are just destined to shit existances. I hate this feeling.... I seriously think I am just sitting around waiting to catch that bus....Nick was my motive before to hang around. Hell I was feeling better with him around. I was actually dressing decent, doing my hair acting normal for once. And like now that he's not around me I've just let myself go. Don;t smile....don't laugh...hell just been wearin PJ pants and hoodies. I was so alert when he was around because i felt good. Now I sleep more hours then ever. I sleep through classes..... I try to hang on to anything that can keep me going but this time there is nothing to catch me. I keep hanging onto that thread of hope that I'll talk to Nick again but I feel myself slipping. There is no fucking reason to live. They say everyone has a purpose or niche in life. I don't think i have one. I fail at everything i do. Gah fuck this all...... I'm gonna slit my wrists on cam tonight.... IM me for an invite... XXCuffsXNXPainXGirlyXX..... gonna go throw up now...