Just got home. Things are... different.... I'm supposed to go eat dinner with my father and his new wife. They got married two days ago while I was out of town. I guess that would make her my step mother... I've only met the woman once and I was 4 years old. I don't remember her at all. Spoken to her once since then... I don't really know what to feel. I really don't feel much, just a little uncomfortable. Like I'm supposed to feel something but I don't know what so I just don't. Then there's my "home" life. I may not have much of a home soon. Unless I want to leave here. I don't know. I don't want to lose again, but a part of me wonders if its worth it. Or if I've already lost. Or even if I ever had it in teh first place. Its just all jumbled right now. He wrote me again. He. Him. My Ghost. I don't like talking about him. I don't like thinking about him. It hurts. He's the one I let get away. The one I ran from. My only regret. He says things are changing for him, but he's alive and well. I'm happy to hear from him though I didn't expect to. I miss him. I don't know why I can't let go... I guess I never will. He'll always be a secret scar to hide. I have to stop thinking. I'll drive myself insane.