I'm going home... I just found out. Before the month is over I'll be home. Looking for a new apartment or house, back in the city I love... and hate so much. I haven't told too many ppl... I'm almost scared they won't care. Words are all well and good when you're far away, but when it comes right down to it... *shrug* Things aren't always as they seem. I want to be who I was. Will I be able to? Some I'm not really looking forward to seeing again.. some I miss more than words can say... Its all going too fast. Just a couple days ago it was just a wishful thought... then suddenly, I'm going to have to be back in a week. I'm not sure if I even believe it yet. ... I found some old poetry of mine... rewrote bits, some isn't that bad... "Now I cry myself to sleep For you, my friend, these tears I weep And if I die before I wake That's one less heart that I will break" I used to hate the effect I had on people... I didn't want them to care about me... I just wanted them to be happy... but sometimes it went too far... they cared about me too much... *sigh* What happened to that girl? It was hard... but so much easier than who I am now. I WANT to care like that again... Maybe it's these dreams I've been having... memories... old hopes... dreams... they haunt me. Eat away at my heart. Gnaw at my mind... make me feel guilty for where I am now... But I'm coming home. Home...