I really REALLY need to find/see a doctor. I'm getting really nervous and the fact that I can't take my medication is quite literally driving me mad. I'm itching like HELL because of it. Stupidass skin disorder... I'm worried this could make my baby alergic to everything. I'm loney, tired, totally stressed out, and utterly miserable... and I KNOW that isn't good for the baby. *sigh* I just don't understand how a person can go from telling you everyday that they're gonna marry you and they want to have children with you to suddenly being completely cold and distant and not even wanting you to be nice to them. I'm getting to the point where I just don't care anymore. *sigh* We're going to a psychologist for counseling on Wednesday. Maybe SHE can knock some sense into him. I just want this all to get settle so I can get on with my life and start REALLY planning for a baby. Its really f*cking hard when the father won't make up his mind as to what his position is. And f*ck you David. "What is there for me in New Zeland?" You asshole. What the hell was there for me in Jeff City? There would be ALOT more for you in NZ than there was for me. And thats if I even get to go. So f*ck you! ...*sigh* WHat the hell happened? Everything was going so well.... I really want to hate him. Its so easy to hate. No remorse or regret... no having to forgive. No guilt for bitterness or revenge. But no.... damn. This isn't at all healthy. And for once I need to care about that for soemeone else's sake.