"He's really the love of your life, isn't he?" I'm not really sure. But, he's really mine now. Maybe its true, if you say something enough it becomes real. ? No... that wouldn't be good. But anyway, all the bending and swallowing down emotions is over. At least the major ones with us. I don't have to share anymore. I'm glad I didn't leave. For once I don't regret my decision. I'm really happy. It was funny... I was out with friends and joking around and things were great! Then John said "Wow. I haven't seen you this happy since... well, since before we broke up." It took a minute to sink in, but he was right. I haven't felt this light hearted or... well, FREE, for over a year. Even the last few months with John(B) I wasn't this happy. We're together now. REALLY together. Just the two of us. No one else, no side items, just us. Its going to be hard, I know, but the fact that we're even trying means so much... We didn't want a relationship. We said we weren't gonna get attached, just be friends. I'm worse at that than I thought... :D But, you know what? I'm glad. I'm glad I gave this a chance. Its such a big chance and I'm damn happy to take it. I want to find myself again. I've lost myself in so many people for so long that I've forgotten me. Now is my time. Well... I just wanted to get some stuff off my mind. He's waiting for me. He wasn't even supposed to be here tonight. But he is. :) And I'm going to go be with him. Me. As me. And he loves me. ....wow.... Sleepy time...