Have you ever discovered something about yourself that you didn't know about your whole life? I just did. Appearanly I have a birthmark on the back of my head/neck. I'm amazed. I'd never seen it before. All my "distinguishing marks" I was born with are on the backs of me. Odd... Anyway... *sigh* Damn I miss my boy. My Goat with his changing blue eyes and shaggy hair. My lover, my friend... Who tries so hard. I miss curling up around him as he sleeps... gently brushing the hair from his beautiful face... feeling his warmth against me... listening to him breathing so softly... hearing his heart beating so fast... He doesn't push me away in his sleep anymore. It just occured to me. He used to thrash about so much that he would end up shoving me off the bed, but not anymore. He does still roll around quite a bit, but now he all but crushes me against him. And he seems to keep changing his mind about me. We weren't even supposed to end up in a relationship! *smile* I'm glad I stuck around. For once I am truely happy. I hope this new trouble at his work blows over. As much as it annoys him he really cares about his job. He worked hard to get the position he's in. Speaking of jobs... I really need a car so I can go find myself employment. Me having income would really be an asset at this moment. I already took money out for the deposit. On our apartment. Wow. We found one. Its beautiful and its ours. His and mine. Just the two of us. I'm not sure how that feels yet. We have a home. Or will soon. Home. A building to live in and keep our things and trinkets and furballs in and sleep and stay sheltered from the weather and make memories in. Home will soon be more than just his arms. Will it? Its been his arms and nothing else for so long to me... No. It will only be home with him in it. He means too much to me. Its probably unhealthy but... oh well. I am still me. I'm doing faire still. He won't be there and I'll miss him terribly but its good for us. I hope I get this part. It woudl be amazing... So many good things are happening. Bad too, I'm horribly sick and I hurt like hell... but my heart's happy. Time to rest my body so it can heal. I'll dream of him and maybe we can sleep at eachother sides' somehow tonight....