I'm looking (actively) into modeling again. I'm hoping that maybe it will boost my self esteem... Its been pretty low since having Rowan. I still haven't managed to shed those last few (20) pounds of baby fat, and I'm am in the worst shape of my life. Plus I have stretch marks all up in my bidness.... I know, I can excercise an all that but it's really freaking hard to do with no babysitter! I think I may just try to find a cheap Bowflex or something online... As for the babysitter thing, I thought I had found one, but so far we haven't been able to successfully set up a meeting and my sudden onset of gumption is running out fast... Hopefully we'll be able to get together tomorrow before she goes to StL for spring break and things will be awesome. There's a chance that on Sunday I will be heading to Warrensburg to at least consult with an artist about getting my tattoo, and possibly start it. I'm excited. =) I've been wanting this thing for... god knows how long. I'm not sure how many sittings it will take if he's even willing to do it... I thik I could do it in one (trust me, I can handle that kind of pain, happily), but I doubt I'd be able to find any artist who could or would do it all at once. I don't even have a tangible design yet... I know what I want though so hopefully he can sketch it out for me. My biggest fear is that he won't do it. My next biggest fear is that it will be too expensive. Then I'm afraid I may have to wait till I stop breastfeeding to do it. *grumble* So much I still need to hammer out, but actually need to talk to an artist to do... *sigh* Saturday night there is a LARP I would like to go to. Once again though, that will depend on babysitter... I doubt I'll be able to go, but there's always next month. By then we had better have a sitter... I'm afraid my skin conditin may be sneaking its way back... I've been itching all over again, but not as severely as I used to. Hopefully its just Columbia's shit-tastic hard water... I really don't want to have to go back to being medication dependant. I want to be confidant. I want to like myself again.