Last night... is gonna make my head go boom. Blah. I feel like this picture... split and going different directions. Only... far more split and many more directions.... *sigh* Had a good talk last night... really needed it... I cried a bunch... that actually surprised me... and honestly, I'm not feeling any better about things... but it was a good talk. I got to see some friends I haven't seen in a long time, so I was happy about that. Saw A Midsummer Night's Dream.... and some characters were good, some were NOT.... But who I went to see did great, so it was worth it. I may go back today to see some more friends. I dunno.. I'm not feeling too well... but getting out again may help. And I would like to see them. *sigh* I have this feeling that everything over the next few months is going to get more and more difficult and unpleasant... but that its going to have to to get better. I'm scared to death of what I might have to do... but to be honest, what could (and probably will) happen if I don't frightens me even more. I hate the position I'm in, but I know I was the one who put myself here and I'm going to have to be the one to get myself out.... but jesus christ.. I'm going to need help.... I'm going to go now and stop the vague mumbo jumbo....