My legs feel like they've been run over by a semi... And they're feeling better than they did yesterday. *sigh* At least I have a job... I don't think I'm physically up to it though. ...I feel like such a dissapointment. No matter what I do I'm fucking up. At least I'm trying.... God, I'm getting so sick of "at least"s. And I'm getting tired of wondering why things just can't go right! Its fucking bullshit. I Just want one tiny fucking thing to go well without any sudden "Oh shit"s or "goddamnit"s. I'm tired of telling myself "don't get your hopes up". And being right. I'm tired of caring what I do to other people. I'm tired of caring what I do to myself. I'm just fucking tired. I want to be able to say what I'm thinking without having to censor myself in regards to other people's feelings. I want to feel like something I do matters. I want to feel good about myself at the end of the day. Shit, I just want to feel good about SOMETHING. I want to sleep without wondering if I'll have water and electricity when I wake. I want to be able to empty a can of formula without getting knots in my stomache, wondering if I'll be able to feed my daughter. I want to be able to make myself a meal without wondering if I should only eat one that day. I want a bed, and shoes that aren't torn to shit, and a bra that fits. I want to be able to interact with someone without having to worry about what my actions are making them think. I want to be able to tell people HONESTLY how I am and whats been going on in my life. I want to feel comfortable. I want to not have a list of things I want. ...And today's not even a bad day....