"Life is easy when you fake it Right until you realize Your happiness is unrelated To anything you have inside And it doesn’t feel right And I’m mostly very tired Every chance I get to distract myself I won’t try to convince myself That there's anything for real or That we're sure of what we feel..." ~Tired Well THAT was short lived. .... . . . . . .... Whatever. You just can't keep anyone happy I guess. No matter what, they always find somthing that isn't right. I do it. The world does it. No big deal. *sigh* But I almost felt something... and I almost thought it would be fine.... sorry I went into poet mode there for a minute. I don't know why that happens to me sometimes. But sometime I just start spitting out poems instead of normal writing. ....I really want the CD "Almost Happy" by K's Choice.... its really good. ... ... . . . . ... ... I wish I could feel excited, but mostly I'm just sad. Or frightened. And what few times a spark of any other emotion flares up, it just burns itself out in a matter of moments. Oh well... "No, I know what you said But that doesn't mean that I understand And you don't know what I meant by that But it's sweet that you tried That you're on my side" ~My Head ...Like I said, its a good CD. Anyway... Nothing I haven't said before. I'm in love. But that love is rather strained. We're all trying to talk... sometime its works, sometimes it a complete disaster. Nothing really new. "Any time tomorrow I will lie and say I'm fine I'll say yes when I mean no And any time tomorrow The sun will cease to shine There's a shadowman who told me so" ~Shadowman On another note, we got a crib today. His aunt and uncle also brought over a highchair and a stroller. So thats nice. The baby will have somewhere to sleep. I only have 3 weeks left now...In my 37th week. If I have her anytime after now, she's considered full term. Thats nice. No preemie for me. :) I've been having troubles breathing though, and my skin disorder is flaring up agian it seems. It was delightfully absent for most of the pregnancy, but it seems to have remembered its goal to make me uttrely miserable, and has returned to haunt and torture me. Oh well.. I just need to be ready to start taking those damn pills again, and suffer it out until then. I am sort of worried about taking antihistamines when I'm nursing... but what can I do? Nothing. Thats right. I'll just pray my baby won't end up allergic to every known substance on the planet. *sigh* I'm gonna go stare at nothing for a while now. Maybe I'll make something or write some more... whatever. Thats pretty much how I feel right now.. just... Whatever.