I stumbled across a MySpace today in a desperate search for social interaction (aka: searching for LARPs in Columbia) that has me feeling... sad. And awkward. You see, this person sounds like someone I would love to talk to and get to know... but they happen to be an ex of my husband's. See why it would be awkward? Not to mention the fact that I can barely bring myself to message old friends, let alone complete strangers. That's my problem. I have NO IDEA how to make new friends. I find it terrifying to talk to a stranger. Absolutely petrifying. All the real friends I've ever had have fallen into one of three groups: A) People who came up to me and forced me to talk to them. B) Friends of group A C) People who happened to be hanging out with people in groups A & B that, at some point in the hanging out, ended up near me and without things to do besides comment with me on the interactions of said groups. Sad huh? I am entirely incapable of normal human interaction. I keep telling myself I should probabaly do something about it, especially since my social anxiety seems to be getting steadily worse, but once aain, can't bring myself to. On a happier note, I did manage to talk with a few people today that I haven't in a long while, making me happier. Its helps me get motivated to try to make contact with the outside world again. Maybe even get the guts to message complete strangers!... Or not. You know... baby steps. But I have got to find a way to make friends. I really really do. I'm in Columbia, and I'm GOING to be here for a long while (unless something drastic happens, which would honestly be kind of irritating). I have no friends here and thusly, no one to make friends off of. I lucked out in Jeff City because a bunch of Goat's friend still lived there and a bunch more moved there shortly after we did.But they've all scattered to the wind (like ya do) leaving a massive void of social interaction. I sent some applications to different groups on MySpace, and I started a forum thread on the BR website. Hopefully I'll find someone there... Other than that I really don't know what to do. If I can find a sitter, there are a couple LARPs listed at a local gaming store, and I'd liek to try to attend one. I woudl also love to start attending the SoStL games again. But, as stated before, a sitter is needed. *sigh* Anyway... I need sleep. Not that I'm going to get it, but I should try none the less. Goodnight.