Damnit! WHY!?

by phoenyx
She won't talk to me.... ...she just... won't f*cking talk to me.... she doens't even have the decency to TELL me... ...to sayi tto my face.... Rrrrrgh. I said I wouldn't waste more emotions on this... I told myself no... and it isn't as if I didn't know this would happen... I knew... I always knew... so why can't I stop thinking about it..? Why the f*ck can't I just forget it?... why is it my head won't stop swimming with all this pain and anger and hurt and... GOD! F*CK YOU! What the hell did you do to me? .... *sigh* I have Goat. He's all I need... he's all I WANT... so why the HELL can't I stop thinking about HER!? ...why do I feel so betrayed..?...."Trust is giving someone the power to hurt you"... well, I should have known better... F*ck, I DID know better... but I let them convince me... I WANTED so badly to believe... just ONCE... and it felt so... GAH! F*CK THIS! I should have known that I was never meant to fall in love with... HER... ... and I can't believe I let her get so close!... What is WRONG with me?... I told her all those things... wrote... all that... and she was so GOOD at making me shut my eyes... forget what I KNEW... forget to be cautious... I KNEW BETTER... but she... GOD, I'm an idiot! We were talking... and it felt so good... and less than an hour later she just f*cking forgets everything she'd said... all that BULLSHIT! Just cuz HE wanted to do what SHE'd been doing! She just f*cking throws away everything I'd given to her!... everything I'd risked... everything... and it took SO MUCH out of me to give it... god... why do I care?... why does this hurt SO F*CKING badly... WHY DO I CARE!?..? And why the HELL am I CRYING!? NO! I will NOT f*cking waste my goddamn tears on THIS! F*CK YOU! ....f*ck you...
Read 3 comments
cute top left. dont worry, i have been used and ignored heaps lately
I would say anything to stop your tears. I can't say anything, except that I am so sorry. So fucking sorry that I hurt you. I felt the same way for you, please, if nothing else, know that your feelings equalled mine. I am so sorry. I want to talk to you, I swear I do. But, I can't see your face after what I just did. I'll die, I miss you all. I am so sorry. God, I am so sorry. I wish there was some other way, thank you for what you shared with me
[Anonymous]
I will never take for granted the love and time you and I have shared. I swear it. And someday, I may beg to come back, and I will sit in silent pain when you tell me what you have to tell me. I DO NOT want you three out of my life, but I understand that that will probably happen. I understand that it may have to. I feel so ... it doesnt matter how I feel. I just cant stand you hurting, and I know that anything I say, means nothing. I know that.
[Anonymous]