Man... this mommy stuff is crazy. I can see how some mother go completely insane and commit such horrible crimes like killing thier kids... Not that I condone them or anything. I can just understand how a person could snap like that... Babies are REALLY frustrating. But I love my daughter, and I know I'll never do anything like that. She's so beautiful to me... *sigh* Even when she's being a holy terror. But she's being restful right now. :) I opened the window in my room and she's been happily staring out into the world. Auditions for Grease are coming up... Saturday and Monday... my mom's in California till Sunday though... so I probably won't be able to go until Monday. If I go at all. *sigh* I'm not ready for an audition anyway... I don't have a song prepared and I've never done a monologue... and I haven't danced in... god... forever. I shoudl probably remedy that... but I'm not sure if a musical is teh best way to try right now... My Juliette wants to dance with me. *girlish grin* Yeah, MY Juliette. I don't care if she isn't really mine. She's the woman I love, so in that way she's mine, even if thats all. We might start going to a bellydance class... I'm not sure how I'll do though... I'll be so selfconsious. But she's so pretty in a bellydance outfit, so it'll be worth it just for that. :D I DO need to get out of the house... and away from Winter, anyway... I hate saying that but its true. And I miss her (Juliette) alot. I really want to just DO stuff with her. I don't really care what. I'm almost to the point where I'd be willing to go do improv in some group setting if I could spend time with her. -Almost- ;þ Its crazy huh.. *lol* I got so mad... and not that long ago. But... it was because I love her so much... and I get hurt so easily. I'm fine now. HONEST! :D I just... was so scared. But things are good. Anyway... I REALLY need to find something I can do that doesn't involve my daughter. (I feel like such a bad mom everytime I say that!) I'm only 19. And I'm really not that mentally balanced, so I really DO need away time. For everyone's sake. Besides, being cooped up in a house was NEVER healthy for me... I get depressed anyway. Now, with a baby stuck to my hip all the time AND stuck in a house... Not looking good on the mental front. So, I need to find a distraction. Something FUN. Without stress. Like theatre. Or art. Or, hell, even just having a day to go walking! ANYTHING! But I need it. Hopefully my mom will get fired when she gets back from California. (I'm not being mean, she WANTS to get fired! Thats why she went on this vacation without asking her work) Until then... I don't know what I'll do. At least I'm not feeling like a steaming pile of @$$ anymore. *lol* Doo dee dooo... yeah. I'm gonna go now. I'm getting goofy.