I'm really grumpy today. I'm not really sure why. I've just been really irritable. The baby's been REALLY painful, Goat's been getting on my nerves, and I've been all around moody. Oh well. I'm pregnant, I guess. I mean, I'm DEFINATELY pregnant, but I guess I can blame the hormones for my moodiness. I really don't want to be pregnant anymore. I'm tired and uncomfortable and I'm getting these ugly disgusting stretchmarks, and I FEEL ugly, and I know I won't ever look the way I used to, and I won't be able to do a lot of the theatre stuff I REALLY want to do, and I probably won't get to do anything interesing at faire because I'll have a newborn and appearantly no one will LET me do anything, and its pissing me off. I understand that I'm having a child and its GOING to change my life dramaticly, but it doesn't have to COMPLETELY change it! But everyone seems dead set on MAKING me change so I'm miserable and everything I DON'T want to happen, WILL. Yes, I'm having a child. That doesn't mean EVERYTHING in my life has to revolve around it. If I let this baby take over my life I'll end up a washed up old hag with nothing but regrets, and I REALLY DON'T WANT to resent my child. And I don't think it has to be like that. I KNOW this baby is gonna have to be a priority, but not to the extent that I totally ignore ME. I can take care of a child and love it and be a good mother without sacrificing everything. And I think its rediculous to ask someone to do that in the first place! So don't tell me what I can't do because I have a baby. I'm NOT an idiot and I'm NOT going to neglect my child so F*CK OFF! *sigh* Sorry... like I said, I'm a bit irritable today... And its realy pissing me off hearing "You can't do that, you're gonna have a newborn!" all the goddamn time. Yeah, I won't be able to do EVERYTHING, but that doesn't mean I can't do ANYTHING. Ugh. I'm just really tired of this. And it doesn't help not knowing when everything's gonna happen and what kind of shape I'll be in. *lol* I could be out for a couple days, or 8 weeks. Who knows? *sigh*" Whoever invented pregnancy should be drug out in a street and shot...