I almost did it. I almost took that blade across my skin. I almost let myself bleed. I don't know what to do anymore. I have nothing. No one will listen. Wendy listens. She knows. She's protecting me. She is my savior. She is my light. She won't let me hurt me. She is the friend that I have needed for a long time. I can't give up on the others. They don't know. They will never know. They know little. That is how it will stay. Suicide will cross my mind again. Wendy will stop me. Cutting will cross my mind. Wendy will take the razor away and slap my wrist. "No. You don't want the scars." I'll nod and agree. She will protect me. She will stop me. I need it. I have to have her. She is my friend. I need him more. I love him. Why won't he look at me? Why won't he understand that he is the one doing this? "Wake up... I'm pounding on the door... I'm not the man I was before... Where the hell are you... When I need you... Wake up... I'm pounding on the door... I won't hurt you anymore... Where the hell are you... When I need you!" I don't need him. I am fine. I will pull through. I have my becon of light and my savior. I have what I need to find my way. Just stay away. I hate you! I hate you, too, mom! Go to hell! You rot in hell you stupid bitch!