spend all your time waiting for that second chance

for a break that would make it okay

theres always one reason to feel not good enough

and its hard at the end of the day

i need some distraction oh beautiful release

memory seeps from my veins

let me be empty and weightless and maybe

ill find some peace tonight

I wish I could say I have a release, but I don't. The lies that swirl around my head keep me hopeful, but at the end of the day I see that they were nothing but empty promises, nothing but lies. Were those things said so I can keep Mike silent? Were they said to make me feel better? Make you feel better? I want to believe that they were for me, but I just don't see it.

Forgiving and forgetting is easier when you're not the one being forgotten, not forgiven. I wish I could say something else instead of "martyring" myself. I have no release, no way to escape. I'm stuck here between wanting to believe that I'm wanted and knowing that no one gives two shits. I still have this faith, this hope. It lingers in me. Maybe, just maybe, someone will speak out above the crowd.

I'm a loner for a reason.

No one can hurt you when you have no one.

~Kayla