I'm def frustrated. I mean, I donno how to even talk to the douchebag. And he's a complete douchebag. No one I know really supports his stupidity. Other ppl I've gotten bits and pieces of their opinion and they also don't support his stupidity. I just...I don't get it. What compells a person to do something that will do nothing but put them back in a place they don't want to be in? Of course, I can't help but to think that every fucking time this happens, it's your fucking fault. I'm honestly sick of being sorry for someone who fucking inflicts damage on themself. I'm so fucking tired of it always being about you. It's always you. You. You. You. I can't even hold a conversation about tough shit with you because you think it's nothing compared to your issues. I mean srsly, you turned a convo about me losing my job into something about you. It should have been about me and trying to cheer me up. I still feel like a pathetic piece of shit, but no. No. You have to make EVERY FUCKING THING about you.

Guess what genius, it's not. Everything you ever do in your life is the reason that you fuck up. YOU put yourself in these situations and I fucking swear that I will NOT be there after this bullshit is done. I'm sick of trying to help someone as selfish and so fucking unappriciative as you. I fucking CRIED when I found out you fucking tried to kill yourself. I was so goddamn worried. I get worried every goddamn time you say that you're low and you don't know how to handle yourself. I'm fucking sick of caring about you. You are almost 30 goddamn years old and your life hasn't amounted to anything. Everything you do just means nothing. You continuously put yourself in this goddamn spot and won't listen to the people that care about you. So, you fall again. Each time it's harder and harder. I'm so goddamn tired of having to worry about you. I'm so sick of having to deal with your pathetic whimperings. I put everyone around me through that shit three years ago. I know how it feels now. The sad thing about it is, you're older then me. You're smarter then me. You could have anything you wanted if you just fucking STOPPED ruining it for yourself. I'm just so fucking tired of caring. So. Goddam. Tired.

So, when you finally stop being an asshole and talk to me, make sure you apologize for everything. I can't value a friendship when there is nothing in it for me but this bullshit.

~Kayla

and ill survive paranoid

i have lost the will to change

and i am not proud cold-blooded fake

i will shut the world away