I'm resisting the urge to tell her to fuck off. Well, maybe now it's not an urge. Stop calling the kettle black. -nod and smile-

feel you slipping so far away

I think I am actually disappointed. Quite predictable really. I don't know now who is more of the two-faced little bitch. Sad thing is, I wanna work shit out, but not at the cost of my emotions. I was weak before, hiding behind a thick wall of sorrow built by my fiance, but now? I refuse to be manipulated into thinking that he's not right for me, that I'm pathetic, that I'm a power hungry bitch. I'm sorry, but at least my high horse keeps me being my own. I'm not some sad little puppet for your own gain.

I want to believe otherwise. I honestly do.

watching the could-have-beens bloom and decay

I have this wall for a reason and you know that. I hate to be clichè, but you helped to build it, too. You are, as I said, one of the few people that can make me or break me. I once let you inside my barriers. Right now, you've proven me right about keeping you out. Part of me doesn't want it to be that way. Why? We used to be good friends and we can be friends. I saw it. I want to believe it. I want to believe you. I know I shouldn't. I should just tell you to fuck off and leave me the hell alone, but...

I want to cling to something, someone, I can believe in. I still do believe in you. I just can't believe you would already go back to them. -shakes head- -sighs- I honestly don't know anymore who is more two-faced. You don't just suck up pride. If this indeed was for me, as you so proclaim, then prove it. Prove me wrong. Avenge me or however you think. I'm open minded and somewhat hesitant.

No one has gotten into my wall for years. Years, Garrett. It's going to take more then words to show me you're worthy. So far, you're nowhere near.

~Kayla