It seems like no matter what I fucking do, I'll never be good enough for my mom. She says I'm being a bitch lately and that she doesn't like it. It's fucking finals. Then, she goes on about my sister. I love my sister, okay, but I'm really fucking getting tired of my mom thinking that she's going to come back. Meghan, just tell her that you're not! I know you're not! *sighs* But have you ever noticed that it's always about Meghan? She's the one that has really good grades. She's the one that likes to be around people and is fun to be around. Me? I'm the failing one. I'm the fuck up. All I am is a disappointment. I just want to ask my mom if she wished that Meghan had stayed and that I left. It's never about me. It's always been about my sister. I'm a fucking person, too! I'm her daughter! I love her just as much but what do I get in fucking return? *looks at arm* Scars. My own personal scars. I'm sorry if you all have to know this. The reason I cut is because of my mother. First, she hits me. Then, she mentally abuses me. Now, she ignores me. I need a fucking release once and a while, okay? It's all I ask for. *is crying* I'll never be good enough for her. Mike...please promise me that you love me for who I am and not what you want me to be. Please tell me that you need me every waking minute. Please swear to me that I'll never be sad again as long as I am with you. That's all I ever want. That's all I ever fucking need. I need you so much. I love you so much. You're the reason I wake up and go to bed. You're the reason I breathe and my heart beats. I cannot stay here anymore. I need to be in your arms and I need to feel your hand around mine. I need to taste your lips. Please...save me from me... Kitsune Crawling through this world As disease flows through my veins I'm looking to myself But my own heart has been changed I can't go on like this I lothe all I've become