My weekend wasn't so bad. Today...I kept staring at my wrists. I could see some old cuts and one from the first couple of times I did it with a razor. Yesterday morning, I grabbed a razor to shaved and I stuck out my wrist. I freaked a bit, but then just forgot about it. I donno...but I really want to cut. It's kinda strange...but kinda not. I haven't in 3 months. 3 months and those scars are still there. You can still read "Pain is Pleasure" on my left leg. There is still scars. They're not going to go away. I'm scared. My parents are being assholes. I'm sorry that I'm not who they want me to be, but can they get over that? I'm not perfect. I'm not trying to be. Afterall...I am Darkness Bound... I'm really tired of everything. I almost broke up with Mike last week. I was being stupid. I think it was PMS...but now I'm starting to think that I'm getting depressed again. I never told him this...but...I wanted to cut when I was at his house. I even had a blade with me. It's in my wallet. I have two of them. It helps. It really does. I don't know if I've really smiled in a long time. I'm kinda numb and my eyes are hollow. There's a deep hurt inside me and that drowning feel's comming back. I hate it. I hate everything. Maybe I should stop being so Emo. I told my sister to shut up and go to her room and be all Emo. She did. Maybe someone should say that to me. It'd be nice. Fucking ppl. Kayla