Yeah, I lied to someone again. See what happens when guilt gets to you?! I can't believe I lied to Skye like I did. I prefer just being his friend. I don't love him like that. He is a better friend to me, but like he cares anymore. He's pissed at me. So is Jolie. I don't blame them. *sighs* I can't wait until I am 18. I'm going to run away. I have to get out of here. I need to be free. I'm only killing myself staying here. On another note, I wanted to kill myself last night. I also wanted to cut and I think I am addicted to Caffeen (SP). I have to have Mountain Dew now. I get headaches if I don't drink it. I get stomach aches if I don't drink it. I'm addicted. Finally, my first addiction, besides wanting to kill myself. I'm giving me about a year. If I'm not free by the time I am almost 19, I'm going to kill myself. I am selfish and I don't give a shit anymore. I want to fucking die. There is nothing for me to stay here for. I can't be with the one I love. My friends are turning on me. I have to lie to stay with those I thought loved me. The only one I can stand right now is my dog. My stepfather beat my dog last night. I wanted to scream and shoot him in the fucking head! Don't fucking touch my dog you fucker! That is my fucking dog! MINE! *pants in rage* I need to calm down. I have to. But why? There is no God. I'm already going to Hell. There is no future for me. I'm dying inside and I am alone. There is a blade at home calling my name. I hope that it will go in deep and spill out all of my rage and pain. I need it now. I have to have it. There is nothing left for me anymore... Kari My wounds cry for the grave My soul cries for deliverance Will I be denied Christ? Tourniquet My suicide ~~~~~~~ Star all those that apply to you--- o1. I'm in a relationship o2. I can't eat sugar o3. I am in love* o4. I think Bush is an awesome president o5. I think gay marriage should be approved*** o6. I enjoy playing my music loud*** o7. I like to decorate stuff* o8. I love the color silver* o9. I have too much free time* 1o. I love hugs!** 11. I like to take pictures* 12. I am a blonde* 13. I love Vanilla Coke* 14. My parents are divorced* 15. I get amused easily sometimes** 16. I hate my siblings 17. I love all my friends to death* 18. I have been to the Bahamas at least once 19. I love Aladdin* 2o. I'm afraid of losing loved ones* 21. When I get home the first thing I do is get on the computer* 22. I need to apply myself more* 23. I need more sleep**** 24. I like to write poetry* 25. Hypocrites piss me off 26. I wish I could ride a motorcycle 27. I don't like chocolate much 28. I have weird dreams* 29. I don't have a shower 3o. I love to swim* 31. I'm scared of changes* 32. I wish I could read minds 33. I don't do extracurricular activities* 34. I'm too lazy* 35. I am an atheist******** 36. I tend to hate jerks* 37. I'd rather have a small group of close friends than a large group of friends that I didn't know all that well* 38. I'm easily hurt*************** 39. I'm an Internet nut* 40. AIM takes up 1/4 of my life* YIM or MSN 41. I like giving gifts* 42. I enjoy receiving them as well* 43. I'm quiet in class and loud with my friends** 44. I love watching films* * 45. I am very crazy at times**** 46. I want to learn how to play the flute* 47. I love where I go to school 48. I hate my homelife********************* 49. I don't like eating 50. I leave school soon* 51. I am an impulse spender* 52. I only ever seem to drink pepsi/coke* 53. I have lots of nicknames*** 54. I eat too much junk food* 55. I've had a sitDiary for over a year* Soon...like in June! 56. I'm tough on the outside, super sensitive on the inside* 57. I love video games** 58. I am shy at first******* 59. I'm scared that the entire world hates me and I just don't realize it**************************************** 60. I love sarcasm* 61. I'm a bit blonde at times* 62. I think I scare people sometimes 63. I think snobby people suck**** 64. I hate it when people judge others**** 65. I prefer the internet to the TV* 66. I can cry and not be sad 67. I take a shower every day* 68. I interrupt people a lot* 69. I hate it when people ignore me or irritate me******************** 70. I'm quiet, then I come out with random outbursts** 71. I have a lot of pet peeves*** 72. I hate scratched CD's and DVD's* 73. I love blue eyes* 74. I hate acting girlish***** 75. I'm a very messy person****** 76. I want more piercings* 77. I hate my figure**** 78. My friends are loud but awesome 79. I sleep on my side**** 80. I appreciate nice things that are done for me, even if it's just a compliment*** 81. I'd love to have the money to buy things** 82. Iced coffee is the best 83. I want to get my ear's pierced again* 84. I want my belly button pierced 85. I like sitting around doing nothing if it pleases me*** 86. I don't like talking to new people*** 87. I love horse back riding 88. I'm a day dreamer************************8 89. I never want to get married** 90. I like clean sheets 91. I love to ramble about random things* 92. If I leave my hair to dry it goes curly 93. I don't sleep much************************ 94. I loathe sunbathing* 95. I'm scared of the near future****************************************** 96. I hate it when parents take sides* 97. My starsign is virgo (LEO!) 98. I share my Birthday with an enemy 99. I love receiving sitDiary Comments*** 1o0. I've rode in a hot air balloon 1o1. I've bowled left handed* (lol! It's funny!) 1o2. I love popcorn* 1o3. I've liked my best friend before 1o4. I wake up to an alarm clock* 1o5. I hide things under my bed 1o6. I hate close-minded people**** 1o7. I have gone sky diving 1o8. I've written a book* (like 15...) 1o9. I love Def Leppard 11o. I make wishes on "1:11" 111. I play lacrosse 112. I have the same best friend since kindergarten 113. I absolutely love cute/weird thongs/underwear 114. I know what I want to be when I grow up*** 115. I write in cursive 116. I paint my nails* 117. My best friend lives in another state* 118. I watch T.V. to fall asleep 119. I try to always do my hair in cute styles* 12o. Whenever I'm bored, I usually resort to dumb surveys like this one* (Who doesn't?)