[She had found a class that she truely belonged. ] Kari sat in English, ignoring what her teacher was saying. She was writing in a little black book. She poured her thoughts into it. A girl with brown hair turned to look at her. "Belle, are you paying attention?" she asked. Kari looked at her. The girl sighed and took the book that Kari was writing in. Kari snatched it back. "Don't touch my stuff, Kat," she whispered. "You need to pay attention, Kari." "I don't have to do anything I don't fucking want to," Kari replied. Kat turned around. She shook her head. Kari knew that she had hurt her feelings. Kat was her best friend. She couldn't stand to see her hurt, but Kari just opened her book. She began to write a new poem. A poem to her friends, but mostly to Kat. Dear Friend Can't hold on Have to let go No one will cry This I know Nothing but pain And hollow tears Silent screams And never ending fears I have one way To break free Please don't say That you need me Don't try to say That I'm needed I need to go So feel defeated I hate myself I want to die I don't need You to cry So wipe your tears And remember me I'm going to die So I can be free Kari sighed as she finshed the poem. The bell rang and Kari threw the book in her bookbag. She didn't need anyone to see the cover of it. She had carved words on it. Her favorite was "My Sweet Suicide". Those words were the title of her book. They were her sweet suicide. She was dying inside. Drowning inside herself. The burning water forcing its way down her lungs. It forced out her air, causing her to choke. That was how Kari felt. She felt alone even around her friends. But, they would never understand. They wouldn't know that she was drowning. She was falling forever. Falling into the darkness of her heart. Kari was dying inside. It was only a matter of time before she actually died. Then, she would have her sweet suicide. ------------- I know that this chapter was short, but it says a lot. That is truely how I feel. Don't cry for me. I wrote that poem recently. It is in my little black book. Yes, the book is real. I have carved "My Sweet Suicide" on the outside as well as "Alone" and "I'm dying again". I know that I am sick. I will be sick forever. Help me find my sweet suicide...Kari