[Until she finally found her sweet suicide.] Kari dragged herself into school. It was just like old times. The hallways and classrooms still smelled the same. Kari walked into the main office. She was greated by a secratary. "Hello dear, are you new here?" "Kinda. I used to go here. I moved and now I'm back," Kari replied pulling off her North Central hoodie. The woman stared at her. Kari was wearing a black Evanescence tank top and black pants. Kari pulled out a plain black jacket and put it on. The woman stared at her. Kari looked up. "What?" "Nothing, um, follow me." Kari was taken into another part of the office. She saw someone that looked familar. The guy turned and looked at her. Kari froze. Those eyes, those horrible eyes. "Hey, Kari," he said. Kari just walked past him. He was the beginning source of her pain. He made her think that she was in love to deny something else. She had let him touch her. She had let him be her first kiss. But, she knew that she could never have him. He was too far away. He would never be hers. "In here," the old woman said. Kari walked into a room. A younger woman smiled up at Kari. "I take it that you are Hikari Moriyaku." "Yes, but I go by Kari." "Alright. Sit down and we'll get your classes sorted out." Kari sat. She glanced around the woman's room. There were several pictures of smiling children and happy times. Kari felt the anger rising in her. How she wished she could have that. How she wished that she could be free. "Well, what were you taking at your old school?" "I was taking Japanese, but you don't have that," she said, looking at her shoes. "We can make something up for you. I'm sure we could find someone to finish teaching you." "That would be nice," Kari replied. Japanese was always the class that she loved. She could never feel sad or angry in that class. Well, when sensei was there anyway. "What other classes?" "Um, French, but I want to drop that. I don't really have any idea's for the other classes." "Well, how about art?" Kari looked up at the councilor. "How did you know?" "I can see your folder, dear," she replied. Kari looked down at her folder. She forgot about the black rose that she drew and colored on it. She loved that rose. It was like her. Deadly to touch, but beautiful to admire from a distance. "Art sounds great." "Anything else?" "Um...anything that I could use as a writing class?" "Besides English, I don't think so, hun. Why, are you a writer?" "Yeah, I write lyrics and poems." "Well, we could put you in one of our chiors." "I don't know. I don't like being told what to sing." "Well, we are starting up an artistic chior. You get to sing any song you want and you can write them." "So, sort of like starting-a-band class?" "Yeah." "I'll do it." "Well, that requires you trying out and showing some of the lyrics you write." Kari paused. She didn't know if she had any lyrics that were worth letting an adult see. They were pretty dark. "Well, we can probally go try out now if that's okay with you. You don't have to really go to class until tomorrow." "Yeah, I want to try out." The councilor stood. "By the way, I'm Mrs. Sutton. You can come to me anytime, Kari." Kari nodded. She followed Mrs. Sutton out of the office and into another hallway. They walked into a chior room. Mrs. Sutton nocked on the office door. A man walked out. "Mr. Thomas, this is Kari Moriyaku. She would like to try out for Artistic Chior." The man looked at her. "Can you sing?" "It depends on what you think," Kari replied. "How about write?" Kari opened her notebook and searched for some good lyrics to give to the teacher. She found one that wasn't about blood or dying. She handed it to him. Mr. Thomas read it. He nodded, handing it back to her. "I like that. You pass that test. Now, is there any song that you want to sing?" "I get to choose my song?" The man laughed. "This is a chior that you get to choose the songs. It is just you and some of our musicians on the stage." "Well, I would like to sing "Breathe No More", if that is okay." "By Evanescence, I'm guessing," he said, smiling. "Yeah." "Go ahead." "I need the CD, she said pulling out her CD player and handing it him the CD. "Number 8." The song came on. Kari closed her eyes. Then, began to sing. "I've been looking in the mirror for so long That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side Oh, the little pieces falling, shatter Shards of me Too sharp to put back together Too small to matter But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces If I try to touch her And I bleed I bleed And I breathe I breathe no more Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirit's well Yet again you refuse to drink, like a stubborn child Lie to me Convinse me that I've been sick forever And all of this Will make sence when I get better But I know the difference Between myself and my reflection I just can't help to wonder Which of us do you love? So I bleed I bleed And I breathe I breathe now Bleed I bleed And I breathe I breathe I breathe I breathe no more" Once the song was over, Kari opened her eyes. Mrs. Sutton was in tears. Mr. Thomas looked at her in suprise. Kari looked down at her feet. "That was amazing!" Mr. Thomas said. "I want you in this class tomorrow, Kari." Kari smiled. "Am I that good?" "I could swear that you sounded a lot like her. You're voice is beautiful," Mrs. Sutton said. Kari smiled wider. She had found a class that she truely belonged. ------------ This is my fantacy. I want to start a band. I have many songs out, but they are too violent and some are too suicidal to show to adults. Someday, I will be able to sing. Singing and writing are my life... Help me find my sweet suicide...Kari