If this is how it has to be, then it has to be. He wants me to change. Fine. But I truly believe the only way that is going to happen is if he leaves it all behind. Yes, I am taking away the computer from Mike. After reading some hard to see things from him, I'm sick of the fighting and arguing over something as fucking stupid as a Role Playing site because you know what, it's not fucking right. It's stupid and I'm tired. I think I know why I'm so angry. I truly believe it's that fucking place that makes me so mad and causes me to act so fucking immature. I don't know anything else. Before that place, I had patience. I was able to control my anger. Sure, I wouldn't have Mike, but you know what, despite that place not being a mistake, staying there as long as I have has been the biggest mistake of my life. And them banning me has been the most brilliant idea any of them have come up with and I thank them. There is so much more out there for me then the SC. Sky said it. Ma Jolie said it. Even my sister said it. Then it is time to take in their words and follow it. I'm sorry to everyone, but that means Mike must also stay away if it is to help me learn and grow. I apologize now. I don't wish it to be this way, but it must. You all may not see it. That, I do not care, but all I see right now is us and how I want to be. I cannot be angry like this and eventually have our little Katherine Rose. It will never happen like that. I don't want to be like my mother. They do not deserve it. I don't care if you like it or not. Truly, I don't. I don't care what you think. Hate me all you want, but that is your own childish ways. I don't hate any of you except Mr. Roberts. But I have my own reasons for that. Those are far more personal and deeply rooted in my heart. I may have loved you once, but what I fell in love with was a character and nothing more. Hikari fell in love with a character. Yes, it will be hard, but I feel that Hikari and I will find a new place to hide. I'm thinking about creating my own SC like RPG on ETS. It's my site. I may do whatever. Any Shadow Clan stuff there will be locked away and will only be shown if I want it to be shown. I deleted your accounts again. I will not allow any of you on that site again. I'm sorry, but that is for my dealing processes only. I will not delete it because despite all of these recent hard times, there are still good times and it is the good times that I wish to remember. I used to be someone, but now I don't even know who I am. I am sorry if this angers any of you. I truly am. I don't mean to. This is for me. Mike knows it. He'll be back to RP in a few months if I am up to let him. Yes, that means when Katey is ungrounded from the internet. It may be longer. I don't fully know yet. He wants to stay. This is for us and for me. I'll hate it and so will he. His happiness is what matters most to me no matter what the rest of you think. I break far more then any of you could ever see. And it is for him that I break. This time, it's Mike that has to break a bit for me. And only a bit. I don't need eternity. I just need a few months. Maybe some other time we can speak again. Perhaps RP again. I do know that I will continue on Live Hard and the Death Note site if Katey keeps it up. I may have found us an L. My friend Angie loves Death Note. She loves L and hates Light. It's rather amusing. xD I love her to death and it's about damn time that I found a real girl friend out here. I need one. Badly. Of course, she is a horrible influence, but that will be talked about later. God I am in sooooo much trouble. X.x But until later. I am rarely on AIM. If you wish to contact me, it will probably have to be through Myspace or e-mail. You know the address. But now, I must go. Mike works tonight and I have WoW to play until I pass out at the keyboard. This is Kayla signing off for now. Bai. ~Kaylaface♥