I'm irritable today. I don't know why. I kind of yelled at everyone in some way or another. I hate everyone. No idea. I think I'm PMSing. X.x Oh effing yay. Just what I need right now! A cold and my period. Add that with stupid drama and work "cleaning house". I'm just not having a good year so far. X.x Not. At. All.

I'm tired, but I can't sleep. I'm worried, but I don't know why. I'm upset, but I can't figure out a way to get through it. I want to forget, but that has never gotten me anywhere at all in my life.

I need a vacation. When Mike starts working, like I hope he will be doing full time, I want to go to Philly or NYC for a weekend or something. Just me and Mike. Well, if we go to NYC it'll just be me and him. If we go to Philly, we're gunna hang with Della and possibly my mom if I can get a hold of her. I need a break away from my life. I really miss Della. I need a reading and she's the best person I can talk to without feeling stupid. She also makes things seem a lot easier when she does a reading. My mom makes me all stressed out. It's also weird. X.x I don't want her knowing about my real life drama shit. I really don't want her to know anything about my life. She doesn't keep me in hers.

I really shouldn't rant about how BS my mom is. Nothing will solve that problem. Nothing. She's not a part of my world and I'm not a part of hers.

Bah. I hate the emotional links in my life. I don't think any of them are going right. And I can't help but to sit here and think it's all my fault. Take that as you will. I take the blame for everything in my life even when I know that I'm not the fault or the reason. Some people are just too retardly stupid to see or understand how they effect and fuck up shit in other people's lives.

~Kayla

finchè vivrò ricordati così sarà una colpa eterna su di me