So, listening to lyrics of my favorite songs a lot lately. I knew this would all happen again, and honestly, I don't think I'm upset anymore. I'll take a small break, get my head out of my ass, but then continue on with what I enjoy doing. If no one else can do that, it's not my care or responsibility. People can decide to change or not. I'm just going to pull myself out of the shadows.
Hikari is a lot like me. She is a fighter with deep meanings and actions. There is also a lot more logic within her this time around. I'm not going to quit that. My wall may be impassable and damn near impossible to enjoy, but it's who I am. I'm not going to let stupid shit keep me down. It's honestly stupid.
all my escapes that left me broken
leads me here again
So, I'm going to continue on with a smile on my face, head held high. In the end, the only person that can tear me down is me. I have my flaws as does any person. I will own up to every single one before my life ends. That's why this trip is called life. Everything comes to close before you die. Hopefully I have a long life to be able to close up my endings and fix all the wrongs I have made including those I cannot see.
Emotionally, I'm a doormat, but I have compassion. If the compassion is what makes me a doormat, then so help it. We all have a voice and we all have a heart. I now choose to live my life with a heart. That is the most growing up I have done in the last 22 years of my life.
It never was about me. It's still not. I'm childish, but that is who I am. Respect it or not. That is your choice. I will keep a smile on my face. I got to get myself off the ground before I deserve to have an attitude. I am no better then anyone else. I hope that they realise this as well. Yet, we will all be faced with the choices we made in the end.
So, here I come world with my head held high. Be prepared for my plot, SC. It's going to be coming hard and fast. Those who wanted a part or said they would participate, please feel free to leave me a message via AIM or on the SC and I will respond. I would still love it if you helped out. Much loves!
~Kayla