god! im such a jerk. fuck. my boyfriend is such a nice guy. i dont know why im a jerk to him. im always saying somethin that makes him upset or something. god im retarded. i wish he knew that i dont mean it and that i dont know why i do that sometimes..... geerhh. ive been beating myself up ever since last night... god. why cant i ever get thigns right for once? i wanna make him happy... but when i try i just screw it up. i dont know why he puts up with me... or even loves me for that matter. *sigh* im lucky.