i love cresten! i was rather... i dunno depressed all night. but we layed there together alone, and everything was right. even the rain, the wind and the lightening. then that song played. its sad. and something happened, i dont know what, but we looked at each other real serious and he said "i love you, babe" and i said "and its not just because i get you randy sometimes?" *laugh* and he looked at me serious again and said " no babe, id die for you." no cresten, if you died for me, id die without you. and then the song got sadder, cuz well it reminded me of us, the way it talks about "all those kids, whose, hearts are strong" and how our entire lives nothing's been easy and we held each other tight. and i almost cried. almost. i held it in though. i wasnt okay. not for that minute, five minutes, however long it was. but... afterwards.. i was. im ok now. i still want to cry. and i think i might still. but yeah. something happened. i couldnt tell you what. but ... it was like a bond.. or some weird force telling me i was alright. for the first time. im alright. and maybe. ill make it out alright. and with cresten. and well go to england like we want. and the world really wont end. maybe itll get better. maybe. oh yes. and for the previous entry. "sin duda" is spanish for "without a doubt" i think if i ever have a band. that will be the name. or The Vigils. i dunno.