im so tired. of facing things. i get to the point where i begin to remember what happy was. what birds, and trees, and green grass, summer, muddy creeks and crawdads,.......all that was like. and then. splat. reality. zach took pills again this week. he almost died. luckily his mom found him.. and cared enough to take him to the hospital. but shes packing him up and shipping him off to boys school this weekend "because she loves him" not because she just wants to get him out of the house. too bad she never took the time to connect with him. she would have loved his poetry. i will however, miss him. because even if no one else does, i care. just because. beneath the red mohawk, the surface anger, the rebellion... is really a mellow, sweet, sensitive, guitar playing kid. too bad she doesnt know. shes too entralled in herself to notice the little things he does for her. oh well. prom is saturday. and im excited. i will look pretty... i hope.. in my flowers. i am more excited about after prom at josh's. i am not excited about school anymore tho. i really just want to graduate and go to a university and work with professors that care and want to teach. to kids who want to learn. that is why i enjoy the art room. and the band room. that is why i eat lunch in the art room and draw all through my periods and compose music in my head. i can get away from you and your stupid talk about tanning and beating up kids for being different, and talking about yourself, and your not caring!! yes! MAJORITY, im talking to you. i hate you. you make me sad. you dont think for yourself. ohh and how i wish you would! you would be ever so much more fun. i can not thank God enough that he blessed my love with a brain and the ability to think for himself! lol. aaah cresten i love you! man im tired. i still have homework to do. but who cares? they all know i work hard and dont ditch class to smoke pot in the bathroom. all straight A students are allowed to slack sometimes... right?