today is state for the football team. im going. i like our football players. theyre not assholes. besides chris mason. but thats just how he is. i had a dream about kaleb last night. i guess thats the real reason behind writing this enty. i dont know why. it was so random.... strange.... i was laying on the floor of my room and all the sudden he called me. he said he was coming over. i didnt think ne thing of it. he showed up at my door and hugged me. he said it was all alright. sorry it took so long to get to me. i told him i loved him. he said i know. i love you. you dont know. and i said i missed him. he said i know. everyone does. i told him not to leave again that he should stay and it could all go back to what it was. he said he couldnt. there were other things he had to take care of. we talked a little more. about his mom. if he saw his sister... if he remembered playing army in the dirt with me in 3rd grade. if he remembered throwing me into the pool with heath will at Craig's eagle scout graduation. if he knew i still had a crush on him since fifth grade. he said he knew all of that now. he had to go. we hugged again and he left. drove off in his car. and i sat there and cried in my dream. and it started storming. and the lights went out. then i woke up. crying. confused. it was so unreal.