im alright. really. ive got it all together. even though most things seem to be falling apart around me. im ok. i still have cresten. i dreampt about him last night. it was a weird dream. but yeah. ive been PRAYING all day for Zach. i prayed all through chem... all through english. silently. he asked me to go to prom on the 23rd too. he said his mom and him had a talk about boys school. that she might not send him off. hopefully not. i really would like to go to prom with him. just as friends. i know thats what i said about cresten last year, but come on. i had downright intentions of getting him to take me to prom just so we could have our first kiss. haha. you see what planning i went through to get that boy? no i wouldnt mess this relationship up for anything. not even a million dollars. woo. but really i want to go to harrison's prom with zach, but i have some schedule conflicts and i dont know how well my mom is gonna feel about letting me go to prom with some guy she doesnt know who has a red mohawk. haha. i would really like to tho. i know he feels like shit. and i just hate to see him all upset. but. cresten would get mad. and worried. and anxious. i know he would. he always does. i wish he wouldnt tho. really all that trouble to get you, to KEEP you and you think id throw it away? really. come on. but still he always gets all... freaked out and crap when i tell him im gonna go hang out with zach and kevin and shit. im sorry cresten i have guy friends. cuz guys are way cooler than girls. sorry they just are. they just know how not to care about stupid stuff and how to care about important stuff. i cant help it if Allison, lindsay, and anna are the only girls i care to spend more than five minutes with. so youre just gonna have to get over this and trust me. trust everyone else too. you think i could cheat on you and you not find out? really. we have so many of the same friends. they wouldnt be able to keep their mouths shut. so youd know. but I WOULDNT DO THAT NE WAYS! haha. like i said before. im happy in this relationship. why would i mess it up? but again. uhh...i lost my train of thought. oh well. i cant wait till saturday night. i want cresten. well to go to Josh's with cresten. mike brady was at play practice today. and we talked the whole time. me and him and jeremey. mike wants me to come hang out with him down in the foyer during lunch, which makes a kind of debate for me. michael frey will be dissappointed with me if i dont go down to the art room with him. hmmm what to do. art room. foyer. art room. foyer. all this talk about lunch makes me want one of those Hershey's milkshakes that i always get for lunch.... mmmm..... sooooo good! (like Teen Girl Squad says it) well thats about as far as ill get without losing myself further. i know there was something more important... oh yeah zach thinks kevin is mad at me for going back out with cresten after we broke up for like... lol not even 24 hours. but no. i dunno. cuz we did have that talk about how all girls will only date the assholes and never the good guys. i think that the other guys only hear about the assholic things other guys do to the girl and hate him for that. kevin doesnt remember cresten then because they used to party together. oh well. but yeah zach said kevin had kinda been happy about the break up cuz ya know... the whole "i might have a chance!" thing. and then his hopes... those fragile hopes.. what little hopes he gets to get a girl... got shattered. i feel bad. i never meant for kevin to like me. i didnt even think about it. goddamnit! why am i so much fun!?? *sigh* even Neeley (my cousin) was getting aggrivated with me tonight cuz mike kept saying that he liked me more than her. i think he was joking lol but yeah. him and her are like best friends. and well i guess yeah.. but yeah doo op .... i want some ice cream or cookies... something swee. you know what i want right now? a Hacienda mudslide. mmm. sooooo good.