the doc gave me a bunch of meds. so i feel normal, but im not. *sigh* ahh today felt so good. it was light late, the grass is greening, the sun was setting, the trees budding and the birds singing. life. im just happy to be happy. some people lose that. i wish there were less people in the world. i wish we wernt all connected to each other all the time. its a big web. think about it. but. practice sucked. but. hey. were entitled to it once in a while. and i am nearly overjoyed to see crestens number on the caller ID. as in. he called ME for once. lol nah. its just neat to see he called. boo! homework! boo! and i can eat again. thats the plus of the meds. hmm pizza is SO FIIIINE! lol well oh yeah. about last entry. i also wanted to clarify that when i say i still have feelings for paul, that i still have those, i want to be best friends with you again and just hang out feelings,... i got over the ,im crushing on you sorta, feelings a LONG time ago. but no really. cresten had read it and i think he was kinda like freakin out, cuz he was all awkward on the phone with me last night. lol. silly boy. lol i do it too sometimes. silly girl. ahh were great! im so content right now. itd be even better if he were here, but thats cool. someday. *toasts cheers* to a bleak future, but good spirit!