do you know whats ridiculous? we couldnt stay apart for 24 hours. not even an entire day. its in the past. its gonna start over. better. priorites are straight. we both needed some time. for me it was mostly laying on Ryans couch saying "i want him back. goddamnit. whatever it takes" well all i can say is im lucky to have him and ill never forget that. ever. oh yeah. jared. dont kill yourself. please. i love you. fuck mona. ill be friends with who i want to be friends with. and ryan wanted me to tell you that i have a yeast infection. i dont know why. but yeah. im so sure now. i really love him. i think it hurt worse when he tried to tell me that he felt more like friends. no cresten. i love you. so much. more than ne thing. youre not an ass. youre so much more than ne thing ever. i..... cant describe it. i dont know why. but i love you. i love your family. cresten youre what i want and what i know i want and what i really want for the rest of this damn life. oh yeah and whoever said i was sick and twisted. needs to go shove it. cuz apparently youve never felt pain so bad that there is no healthy way to let it out. im sry im a "twisted, sick" freak, but sometimes shit happens. dont judge before you know. you can just go swallow toilet bowl cleaner or something. anyways. so thats over. and started. and whatnot. i think im better. and sadly for the first time... i feel alive. and also, i think i can go eat something and keep it down.