ive dreampt about him every night so far this week. is it sad when youre so worried about someone that they become part of your subconcious? i dreampt i found him last night. i dunno how. i just showed up at his friend's house, drug him out, slapped him, and then cried. he doesnt realize how fucking immature hes being. serriously. cresten, i do believe youve hit an all time low. as for myself, i might have too. what.. with these thoughts of smoking, hell getting a bag from christa even. drinking all night monday... looking at guys in a way i havent looked at them in over a year. i mean. its like it was before the breakup with shawn. only now... zach wont leave me alone.. not cresten.. and instead of being attracted to Andy.. im attracted... to... someone else. but. i dont want to leave cresten. its just like... i keep sitting here.. thinking.. oh things have got to get better when i get my liscense... when i graduate...when im dead. and nothing seems to get better. ever. and im tired of it. so come on home cresten. youre not making me miss you anymore. youre just irritating me because i cant dump your sorry ass. i wish it hadnt had to end like this. really. jbone. dude. you know me more than a lot of people.. and i consider you a best friend. you and ryan and jacob.. and well.. thanks.. i understand how youre feeling. i just wish cresten was as mature as you.