well its been a while. this damn research paper is taking a lot out of me. all of you should know that i didnt drink saturday at craigs. not a single drop. not a beer. not even a shot. so there. ha. i win. no... i just didnt feel like drinking. for some reason i just didnt want to be there for once. im so tired of this. i just dont want to be here. or there. or anywhere in particular. but somwhere thats not here. make sense? maybe this summer ill get my ass in gear and get a job. doing the same thing over and over agian. never moving up down around or anywhere. just stay fixed in a constant repetition of boredom. i hate jobs. and what humans have made life out to be. all of our stupid goals. get a good job! marry a great person! buy an awesome house and and awesome car! be famous!! have money cuz thats most important! grow old and get botox! and then..... DIE!!! yeah, so what? being rich doesnt make you great. i know from expeirence. i just wish there was more to it. and i know there is... or well at least we all hope there is. but what if this is it? what if thats all there is to life? was it wasted? or will we even remember after we die that we wasted it? oh well. who cares. not anyone apparently. you just keep killing the rainforest. im sure you wont regret it. keep killing pandas, and whales, and manatees, and all other endangered creatures. im sure ecosystems wont be in havoc. you just keep polluting the water and littering on the side of the road. im sure none of that shit has cancerous substances that get into our drinking water. you should just think about you. cuz really thats whats most important. not those starving kids in ethiopia. so. there im done. with this. im gonna just try to get over the fact that the world is filled with selfish hogs. and not care. hey. maybe i should start smokin pot. then i wouldnt have hangovers so much.