cresten just left. i think well get married. maybe. im not going that far yet. its just really comfortable... casual. were really content with eachother. we can just sit there... looking at eachother for an hour and it seems like we said more than if we just sat there and talked. ah. i was so angry with him last night. i dont care ne more tho. he takes it all away. hes my healthy alternative to alcohol. well. drinking is in my blood. i cant help it sometimes. really. i try. but i cant. i smell alcohol. sometimes i just need the taste. i really do get cravings for it sometimes. but never again vodka. that shit is like pure alcohol and.. its gross. im a fan of coconut rum. parrot bay too. but yeah cresten. aaaah! love. this is it. im not stupid and i want to say naieve but im not sure if thats how you spell it. yeah. anyways i know this is it. im so content to be with him. so happy. i love him. i love the way his touch... the feeling of his body.. stays with me long after he leaves. i dont know what im getting at. im pretty tired tho. so. goodnight goodnight. also i drew a new top left pic of myself. i would just take a picture, but i feel i express who i am better if i draw it.