i dont know. im so.. ready to get out of here. i just want to break loose and leave. when im at school, after classes, chillin in the band room or talkin to Road in art, its like... whoa.. no stress. like.... yeah... and i just am so happy... away from here. but when the music fades, and the lights go out, and the doors lock, i go home. and its like this dampering opression. even when mom and i arent fighting. i just feel... sad. if i didnt have to go home i wouldnt. i would just live in the auditorium or the band room... not the art room its too cold in there... and id play the instruments.. and get lost in the sound and art and stage. .......if only i could when i go to europe, me and cresten will go to spain on the weekends and lie on the beach and watch the stars come out. when im in london, ill go to the pub and stay till early in the morning, laughing with the guys about an old lover's tale, talking about how it used to be, and argue about which team should have won the cricket match. when.. im away from here... ill miss it.. but i wont want to come back.. but i will.. just to make myself.. cry.. over the things lost and won.. friends made and forgotten... and wonder why life is so cruel and why its so pointless, and why its so damn beautiful at same time.. and wonder... is god so heartless? or is it a lesson? and wonder.. why.. are we the only ones, on this insignificant planet, in this insignificant universe, in this insignificant vast... thingy.