well maybe today's events were down to last nights prayers, who knows! okay well i got a text last night saying 'i need 2 tlk 2 u, thers somethin i feel i hav 2 tell u, but ur eitha gonna h8 me or need a hug' (something along them lines anyway) so heres me thinking uhoh what's happened now, what has she said to chris or he said to her, cos it seemed obvious that it was gonna be something to do with chris! anyway i told her to tell me at school today & she didn't; she gave me the msn conversation to read instead; Chris fancies her, i was like 'ok then, well i can't do anything about it & why would i hate you for it?!' Well considering i had a pretty good idea that he doesn't fancy me, its not going to make any difference whether he fancies anyone else or not, & i know that she doesn't fancy him, i was infact expecting something worse, but hey. Anyway it did get me down a bit, because he didn't tell me & because its still hard accepting that he doesn't want a relationship with me. I think it really made Becky feel awkward cos she didn't know how i'd respond. After lunch i decided i couldn't be bothered to stay in school any longer & there wasn't much point me being there (we are at a 6th form induction week so we can come & go as we please) so i went & signed out, and who would happen to be there but chris, he asked me if i was ok & i mummbled yeah then walked off to the bus stop. The bus came round the corner and he came legging it up the road to catch it, i sat in front of him on the bus, with my back to him & after a bit he lent forward and goes to me 'what's up Amy? you're really quiet' so i told him i knew & he was resting his arms on the chair bars & i leant my head on them & while i was talking to him we were looking in each others eyes(not in a romantic way, but people tend to be being honest when they can look you in the eye) & i told him about it & he said that he didn't know her & just fancied her & there was nothing more to it & he wanted to know why i was quiet, so i goes to him 'well how do u react when you've just been told that the guy you really like fancies your best mate??' he didn't know. he was telling me to smile & stuff, it was good to be able to just tell him stuff without worrying what he'll say. He is really a good guy, and i bet there aren't that many guys out there who will notice when a girl is down and care enough to find out what's wrong, and then even when its something to do with them try to sort it and make the girl feel better! Thanks to those people that prayed for me, i'm grateful, and to those that prayed for me who don't normally pray, i say, it doesn't matter how often you pray God will listen when you do, but don't forget to say thank you when he does something for you; don't be constantly asking and then forgetting to say thanks. Had loads of bother tonight with Chris, he was really annoying me & i don't want to be in the middle of his & becky's disagreement, i'm friends with them both & its their problem to sort! I suppose getting annoyed with chris is helping me to het over him, which i am doing slowly. He's just too good a friend which i think is part of the problem, cos he's so caring, but he's like that as a friend, not because he means anything more than that. I am having a day off tomorrow & not going into school, i need a break & to do some cleaning therapy & take my mind off everything that has happened & sort myself out. It also means i won't have to see chris for another day & i mite get away with not talking to him tomorrow night. Its not that i don't like talking to him, or him, but i need a break, after tonight, all he was talking about was him & becky's disagreement and who he fancies which was rubbing it in a bit as i know its not me he fancies. The problem is he's too good a friend, he's really caring, but just as a friend, he doesn't mean anything more by it. Earlier i was talking to charlie on the phone, and after the serious stuff about chris we went onto laughing stuff, she was taking the piss out of over romantic novels like mills&boon, the funny thing is we both know someone who likes them type of books & we were laughing about it, lol. Anyways i shall go now & make myself a hot choc with marshmallows.