why do i bother with anything?! i'm nobody, nothing i can do is or will ever be good enough for anyone. i come back from wales to abuse from charlie for not replying to texts and phonecalls when i wasnt there, nobody can ever care enough by her standards. i've not seen tom for 2 weeks, not spoken to him in a week & 1/2 cos of being away, so last time i saw him was that afternoon we spent together really close. i miss him like crazy but y'know what, he doesnt seem to care, he seems to have absolutely no affection for me, not even as a friend, and yeah it bloody hurts. i cant get it right, somewhere something always gets screwed up, bet i'm not gonna get to see him at all now. just to add to my crapness & lonliness. o & i have the joy of chris contacting me to tell me how he felt to look forward to, no i dont need any of this, i just want a friend, a hug, someone close. but i've only got haze & she's too far away. God doesnt care, doesnt want to know me at the mo, he's been so distant for months now. so the only thing in my life thats of any worth is work, where they want & need me, where i'm trusted & they like me, where i can earn money but what good is money when i have no social life??! so its meant for uni, but still i'm saving up for somethign that might not happen, for something that might go horribly wrong like everything else!